The way to train your child is to offer encouragement and praise, be patient, and make the process fun. Avoid any pressure or punishment. Your child must feel in control of the process.

 

 

Make the potty chair one of your child’s favorite possessions. Several weeks before you plan to begin toilet training, take your child with you to buy a potty chair. Have your child help you put her name on it. Allow your child to decorate it or even paint it a different color. Then have your child sit on it as a chair. Have your child use it while watching TV, eating snacks, playing games, or looking at books. Keep it in the room in which your child usually plays. Only after your child clearly has good feelings toward the potty chair (after at least one week), proceed to actual toilet training.

 

Encourage practice runs on the potty. Do a practice run whenever your child gives a signal that looks promising, such as a certain facial expression, grunting, holding the genital area, pulling at his pants, pacing, squatting, squirming, or passing gas. Other good times are after naps or 20 minutes after meals. Say encouragingly, “The poop (or pee) wants to come out. Let’s use the potty.” Encourage your child to walk to the potty and sit there with his diapers or pants off. Your child can then be told, “Try to go pee-pee in the potty.” If your child is reluctant to cooperate, he can be encouraged to sit on the potty by doing something fun, for example, you might read a story. If your child wants to get up after one minute of encouragement, let him get up. Never force your child to sit there. Never physically hold your child there or strap him in. Even if your child seems to be enjoying it, end each session after five minutes unless something is happening.

 

Praise or reward your child for cooperation or any success. All cooperation with these practice sessions should be praised. For example, you might say, “You are sitting on the potty just like Mommy,” or “You’re trying really hard to put the pee-pee in the potty.” If your child urinates into the potty, she can be rewarded with small presents or stickers, as well as praise and hugs. Although a sense of accomplishment is enough for some children, others need rewards to stay focused. Big rewards (such as going to the ice cream store) should be reserved for when your child walks over to the potty on her own and uses it, or when your child asks to go there with you and then uses it. Once your child uses the potty by herself two or more times, you can stop the practice runs. For the following week, con- tinue to praise your child frequently for dryness and using the potty. (Note: Practice runs and reminders should not be necessary for more than one or two months.)

 

Change your child after accidents. Change your child as soon as it’s convenient, and respond sympathetically. Say something like, “You wanted to go pee-pee in the potty, but you went pee-pee in your pants. I know that makes you sad. You like to be dry. You’ll get better at this.” If you feel a need to be critical, keep to mild verbal disapproval and use it rarely (for example, “Big boys don’t go pee-pee in their pants,” or mention the name of another child he likes who is trained); then change your child into a dry diaper or training pants in as pleasant and

non-angry a way as possible. Never use physical punishment, yelling, or scolding. Using pressure or force can make a two-year-old child completely uncooperative. Do not keep your child in wet or messy pants for punishment.

Introduce training pants after your child starts using the potty. Switch from diapers to training pants after your child is cooperative about sitting on the potty chair and passes about half of her urine and bowel movements there. She definitely needs training pants if she comes to you to help her take off her diaper so she can use the potty. Take your child with you to buy the underwear and make it a reward for her success. Buy loose-fitting ones that she can easily lower and pull up by herself. Once you start using training pants, use diapers only for naps and nighttime.

Joanna Cole: The Parents’ Book of Toilet Teaching, Ballantine Books, N.Y., 1983.

 

Vicki Lansky: Koko Bear’s New Potty, Bantam Books, N.Y., 1986.

 

Alison Mack: Toilet Learning, Little, Brown, Boston, 1978.

 

Rooms with the door open. Many parents prefer a room for time-out because it offers more confinement than a chair. The most convenient and safest room for time-out is the child’s bedroom, though making the bedroom a place of punishment can cause sleep issues. Until two years of age, most children become frightened if they are put in a room with a closed door. Other ways to confine your child in a room without completely closing him off are a gate or a piece of plywood that covers the bottom half of the door.

 

Rooms with the door closed. Some children will come out of the room just as soon as they are put in. If you cannot devise a barricade, then the door must be closed. You can hold the door closed for the three to five minutes it takes to complete the time-out period. If you don’t want to hold the door, you can put a latch on the door that allows it to be temporarily locked. Be sure not to forget your child. The time-out should not last longer than a few minutes (one minute per year of age).

Deciding the length of time-out. The time-out should be long enough for your child to think about his misbehavior and learn the acceptable behavior. A good rule of thumb is one minute per year of the child’s age, with a maximum of five minutes. A kitchen timer can be set for the required number of minutes. If your child leaves time-out early (“escapes”), he should be returned to time-out and the timer should be reset. By the age of six years, most children can be sent to their room and asked to stay there until they feel ready to behave.

 

Putting your child in time-out. If your child misbehaves, briefly explain the rule she has broken and send her to the time-out chair or room. If your child doesn’t go immediately, lead or carry her there. Expect your child to cry, protest, or have a tantrum on the way to

time-out. Don’t lecture or spank her on the way.

 

Keeping your child in time-out. Once children understand time-out, most of them will stay in their chair, corner, or room until the time is up. However, you will have to keep an eye on your child. If he gets up from a chair, put him back gently but quickly without spanking him and reset the timer. If your child comes out of the room, direct him back into the room and reset the timer. Threaten to close the door if he comes out a second time. If your child is a strong-willed two- or three-year-old and you are just beginning to use time-outs, you may initially need to hold him in the chair with one hand on his shoulder for the entire two minutes. Don’t be discouraged; this does teach him that you mean what you say. If your child yells or cries during time-out, ignore it. The important thing is that he remains in time-out for a certain amount of time. Your child will not be able to understand the need for quietness during time-out until at least three years of age, so don’t expect this of him before then.

 

Ending the time-out. Make it clear that you are in charge of when time-out ends. When the time is up, go to your child and state, “Time-out is over. You can get up (or come out) now.” Then treat your child normally. Don’t review the rule your child broke. Try to notice when your child does something that pleases you and praise her for it as soon as possible.

 

Practicing time-out with your child. If you have not used time-out before, explain it to your child in advance. Tell him it will replace spanking, yelling, and other such forms of discipline. Talk to him about the misbehaviors that will lead to time-outs. Also discuss with him the good behavior that you would prefer to see. Then pretend with your child that he has broken one of the rules. Take him through the steps of time-out so that he will understand your directions when you send him to time-out in the future. Also teach your baby-sitter about time-outs.

Car Safety Seats

Your child should stay in a car seat with a harness as long as possible (i.e. as long as they fit the weight and height limits of the car seat) and then ride in a belt-positioning booster seat. You can tell when your child is ready for a booster seat when one of the following is true:

• He reaches the top weight or height allowed for the seat.

• His shoulders are above the harness slots.

• His ears have reached the top of the seat.

Government safety standards

California Law

• Children under the age of 8 must be secured in a car seat or booster seat in the back seat.

• Children under the age of 8 who are 4’9” or taller may be secured by a safety belt in the back seat.

• Children who are 8 years and over shall be properly secured in an appropriate child passenger restraint system or safety belt.

• Passengers who are 16 years of age and over are subject to California’s Mandatory Seat Belt law.

Exceptions to the law are:

1. There is no rear seat.

2. The rear seats are side-facing jump seats.

3. The Child Passenger Restraint System cannot be installed properly in the rear seat.

4. All rear seats are already occupied by children under the age of 7 years.

5. Medical reasons necessitate that the child or ward not ride in the rear seat. The court may require satisfactory proof of the child's medical condition.

A child may NOT ride in the front seat with an active passenger airbag if:

1. The child is under one year of age,

2. The child weighs less than 20 pounds, or

3. The child is riding in a rear-facing Child Passenger Restraint System.

Sun Protection

Protect Your Child from the Number One Cause of Cancer: The Sun!

Did You Know?

• Skin cancer is the most common type of cancer.

• Many skin cancers can be prevented.

• Ultraviolet (UV) radiation, which causes skin cancer, is present even in the shade, on cloudy days, or in the winter months when the sun isn't as strong as a bright summer day.

• Childhood sun exposure is especially important in terms of cancer. A child or adolescent who has had 5 or more sunburns is twice as likely to get melanoma.

• UV exposure is especially high in locations like San Diego, which are nearer to the equator.

Sunburn

Tips For Enjoying the Sun Safely

• Apply sunscreen to your baby or child anytime she will be outdoors for more than a few minutes at a time, even in the winter or if you plan to stay in the shade. If you have a family rule that everyone wears sunscreen before going outside and you start at an early age, your child is more likely to cooperate when she's older. Apply sunscreen 30 minutes before going outdoors for best absorption.

• Pick the right sunscreen. The higher the SPF, the more protective the sunscreen is. Sunscreen with titanium or zinc in it provides a physical as well as chemical barrier and protects better than other sunscreens. Waterproof sunscreen is helpful, but even waterproof sunscreen needs to be reapplied after water exposure. Spray-on sunscreen is less effective than traditional lotion. Suntan lotion or oils are mainly lubricants and do not block the sun's burning rays and may even cause more burning.

• Reapply sunscreen every 2 hours (even on cloudy days) and after swimming or sweating.

• Put on a hat. If you insist that your child wears a hat from the time, she is a young infant, she is more likely to keep hats on when she is older.

• Cover up. Whenever possible, keep your child covered with long sleeves, long pants, a wide brimmed hat, and sunglasses with plastic lenses with UVA/UVB protection. Darker clothes block more sun than light clothes. Tightly woven fabric is more protective than looser weaves. UPF clothes are specially designed clothing that are more effective at blocking the sun than regular clothing.

• Avoid being out in the sun between 10:00 am and 4:00 pm if possible. Stay in the shade when possible.

• Be careful at high altitude and near reflective surfaces. Sun exposure increases at higher altitudes. Water, sand, and snow increase sun exposure through reflected rays.

• Avoid tanning, either in the sun or in a tanning booth.

When Sunburn Happens

Call Our Office Immediately If:

• Your child becomes unable to look at lights because of eye pain.

• An unexpected fever over 102°F (38.9°C) occurs along with a sunburn.

• The sunburn becomes infected.

• An infant less than one year old sustains a second-degree burn.

Call Our Office During Office Hours If:

• Several blisters break open.

• You have other questions or concerns.